Man pretends to like model trains to impress father-in-law, gets trapped into hobby for 4 years: 'He pitched a two week train trip for the two of us'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 26, 2026 1:15 PM EDT

What lengths should a person go to to bond with their in-laws?

Anyone who truly loves their partner is going to want to have a good relationship with their parents, so long as their partner does as well. However, certain people do not always make this job easy. Just because their son or daughter is the love of your life does not automatically mean that you are going to get along with their close relatives. Like most relationships, it takes effort and time.

Seeing as in-laws are, for better or worse, your family, it pays to try to find some common ground with them. The main reward is that family get-togethers start to feel a little less like an interrogation, and more like a (kind of) fun way to hang out. Assuming you stay with your partner for the rest of your life, making that switch can be important. Marrying someone is not just an investment in one person, more often than not. They have relatives attached who will make your life easier if you can get along with them. You do not have to be the best of friends, but finding some common ground and working with it is a good start.

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  • A model train travelling over a bridge
    via Kevin Wright

    A model train travelling over a bridge

  • A man wanted to be able to break through to his father-in-law, who did not seem too impressed when they first met. The way he decided to do this was through lying about an interest in model trains, something which his father-in-law seemed to love. It ended up working a little too well.

    Once he told him about his supposed hobby, he ended up spending several years building on the lie and developing his knowledge of railways and trains. It had got to the point where his father-in-law was proposing they take a hobbyist vacation together, and he felt like he was in too deep.

  • I have faked an obsession with a niche hobby for four years to connect with my father-in-law, and it has completely spiraled out of control

    I need to get this off my chest because the guilt is eating me alive, and my wife is entirely oblivious.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • When I first started dating my wife, her dad was incredibly intimidating. He's a stoic, quiet guy who doesn't do small talk. For the first year, we sat in agonizing silence during every family gathering. I was desperate for his approval.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • One day, I noticed a vintage model train set in his basement. In a moment of sheer panic to break the silence, I blurted out that I was "fascinated by historical railways" and had "always wanted to get into model railroading."
    via king_astrophysicist
  • I knew absolutely nothing about trains. I still don't care about trains. I just wanted the man to look at me without squinting. The Escalation
    via king_astrophysicist
  • What I thought would be a one-off conversation turned into a relentless, four-year snowball effect. He lit up. It was the first time I saw him smile. Since that fateful day, my life has been hijacked by locomotives. Here is a brief timeline of how deep in the hole I am:
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Year 3: He gifts me a vintage conductor's pocket watch and tells me I am "the son he never had." Year 4 (Present): He just pitched a two- week, cross-country train trip for just the two of us to "chase the heritage routes."
    via king_astrophysicist
  • The Dilemma I genuinely love the guy, and our bond is legitimately strong now. But our entire relationship is built on a foundation of miniature tracks and lies. I spend hours researching train trivia before he comes over just so I can maintain my cover.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Close-up of a model train stopped at a train station
    via Darren Brockman

    Close-up of a model train stopped at a train station

  • weavesterkitty In all this time haven't you become even slightly interested? Maybe you've spent so much time feeling guilty you haven't given trains a chance to grow on you a bit.
    via weavesterkitty
  • cheesy_bees You must take this to your grave It might help if you can somehow connect this to one of your genuine interests. Work in some sort of overlap
    via cheesy_bees
  • The_Gov78 Yo there's a saying, fake it til u make it. Well, u made it. You have a lifelong friendship, new family and a cool hobby. You don't really want to build more lies so I wouldn't tell him you have like a new work obligation that takes away from your train time, but
    via The_Gov78
  • there's a solution to this besides just telling him you faked it the whole time. You'll figure it out. I'd just go with it personally
    via The_Gov78
  • Excellent-Antelope42 You're stuck buddy. Welcome to heck. All aboarrrrrrrrdddddddd!
    via Excellent-Antelope42
  • Daynkieu After 4 years ... it's a hobby. Maybe you're not as deep into it as he is, but you are no longer a novice conductor or engineer. Better to enjoy the train ride than instigate a train wreck. Unless of course you really hate it. But after 4 years ... it's a hobby.
    via Daynkieu
  • stefanica Some part of the hobby must be fun or interesting? Maybe just making miniature trees or buildings? Also the train trip would be fun regardless, I think. If you get long stops research good restaurants or weird sightseeing spots nearby.
    via stefanica
  • Wonderful Bottle_852 Embrace it. It sounds like a fun hobby! Or, tell your FIL that you lied and he will drop you off at the train station...
    via Wonderful_Bottle_852

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family drama father in law Everybody Needs A Hobby model trains
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